Samvaad: The Gift of Intergenerational Co-creation

Contributor: Shashank

One of the greatest gifts of the pandemic time has been our deeper co-travelling with Sadanand Ji (SN). In him, we have found an elder. It gives so much hope to experience how 20 somethings could genuinely co-create with 70 something. It isn’t an exaggeration. Earlier on in our journey, we got pulled to the narrative of creating agency for young people. That meant to renegotiate equations with elders. And working with SN, is the ideal end of the spectrum where there is honesty and mutual respect.

At the world stage, with the COP26 we saw our leaders who are all elder to us - making commitments far into the future. About the world we are to inhabit, not them. Whether those commitments get met, is another question.

In our inherited culture, elders seemed to represent ‘knowing’. And we have all been used to receiving advice based on their experience. We have all received statements like ‘let me tell you how to do it’. We crave for a space of inquiring together, young and old; Or playing together in one team; Or being vulnerable with each other. This is a reflection of two generations collaborating with each other, for the care of the world. And what enabled that.

In the experiment called Samvaad, that we have been holding with Sadanand Ji for six years - we have witnessed how a new world can take birth in the relationship with young and elders. In this reflection, I wish to illuminate the relationship we have shared with SN particularly the co-creation of the six weeks facilitation program, that got concluded last month.

What’s up
As we met week after week to prepare ourselves, each conversation began with a simple question - ‘So, what’s up?’ In that question, resides the possibility of noticing life as it is unfolding for each of us. And building with it. It acknowledges the observer within us, before the doer. It is distinct from what we need to do and how we need to organise it.

As each of the four of us, would respond to the question - it gave the others to practise listening. And like SN would say, Connection before content - we practised it in each conversation.

There’s no there there, there’s only here here.

In the experience of walking together, one of the realisation for me has been - there’s no there there, there’s only here here. For a while, I lived my life with the idea ‘one day I shall arrive’. Is it common to young people? you can tell. It creates a relationship with the future, that makes present subservient to it. This idea get reflected in the material domain too, where we live to accumulate so that one day we can enjoy the material gains.

With SN, I inhabited a different relationship with the future. Acknowledging and noticing the ‘here and now’. And living our way into the future. What it means is to practice the ideas we have, now.

Practice

‘The first ingredient of facilitation is self-knowledge’, SN would say. Each conversation enabled me to deepen the self knowledge and make greater and greater part of my self available to the room.

There was a moment in the program where a participant called out - why we were referring to the work of only men. And it was amazing how SN received the voice of dissent. He acknowledged it, became curious and invited the participant to read something from a female elder, she looks upto. That to my mind happens when one is rooted in oneself and isn’t seeking validation. Facilitation is a practice not a strategy or trickery.

Curiosity

I have been thoroughly taken by SN’s ability to be curious. So many times, I would have judgements for my colleagues at Youth Alliance. And that would make me attached to my expectations for them. And my effort would be directed to convince them on my idea of growth for them or what they must do to meet the group’s need. And SN would show up, in a different way. He would show up with curiosity, keeping judgements at bay. I didn’t expect that from elders. I always experienced as one grows old - they become rigid and seek to direct younger folks.

SN wouldn’t go like ‘I have been there, done that. This is what you need’. He would be like, ‘Wow, tell me more.’ This is acknowledgement of completeness of each human being, whether young or old. Asking great questions is a part of the practice. One of the most beautiful question is ‘Why is it important to you? I witnessed this question opening space of trust, intimacy and understanding.

Gifts

Curiosity naturally led to each of us acknowledging our own gifts and acting from there. When we are in touch with our gifts, we recover self love and self respect. I guess, listening is further enabled when we are in touch with our gifts, as listening requires confidence in oneself. Else theres’ always a fear of disappearing in the conversation. Eight years ago, when I met SN, I found his appreciation a bit overdone, I have to confess. However, over the years I have realised the value of appreciating the gifts in others, it enables people to blossom. Acting from confidence in one’s gifts vs. awareness of one’s deficiencies - is a completely transforming process.

Advice

SN would say, ‘Advice is asking someone to finish your unfinished business.’ Advice definitely has a place in relationships, as I see it. However, letting advice not encroach into the space of possibilities, new learning and inquiry - dampens honesty and mutual respect in relationships. How many elders we find who aren’t giving advice to the young, rather listening to them? SN is definitely one of them.

Thanks for reading and being part of the journey of effecting change at the cellular level. :) Any young person who do not have admiration of an elder is being cheated’, SN would say. I hope we practising curiosity across generations - and cultivate honesty and mutual respect. That - like neurobiologist Humberto Maturana says - make collaboration appear.

Grateful to Vibhuti, Anisha and SN for collaborating together to create Samvaad. We make a great team!