"What brings me back to Youth Alliance" reflects Aditya Jain

Contributor: Aditya Jain

It was in the middle of May when I received Shashank's mail inviting me to join GM this year. Amongst the confusion of where and in what department do I wish to engage myself in, I had only 1 month of vacation after two years of rigorous Gandhi fellowship. Spending that time in scorching heat of Kanpur was not the ideal notion of vacation.

In addition to that, Why do I have to go back to YA? I had other options, plans and even other organizations I could explore before joining KEF as an employee. A friend of mine even once said you need to break ties with your comfortable associations in order to grow. I won't lie that it didn't cross my mind. Is YA becoming one of those associations which are not letting me go out of my comfort zone?

The idea was to detox myself in some other system before joining a system which I have been too acquainted with and have started developing prejudices on it. I was a part of ONUS first cohort that was in 2014-15, since then due to poetry society and then fellowship I haven't got any chance to spend some quality time with the family and I recalled what and how they used to operate and had a gut feeling that this just might be the place which would challenge me the most.

Next, I find myself at the railway station of Delhi with so many new people. Out of 11 of us who went ahead to prepare, I only knew 3. Those 18 days went like a time wrap and now when I reflect this time a had an entirely new lens of looking at YA after 3.5yrs. It was amusing and even irritating at the same time, I was not able to make sense of the experience.

I was trying to process the present: design of GM and the way team is facilitating and approaching it, my memory (distorted and clouded it may be) of how I recall YA and comprehending the shift in my perception over the years. At once I was able to experience that sense of community and strong belief oriented behavior and actions, I recall writing in my diary, 'Maybe, this is what pulls me here.'

It is hard to put into words when I try it now, but it becomes sometimes easy and sometimes hard to come back to the essence YA creates. At Gandhi Fellowship, as per my experience, they have great hard skills and concepts to offer and as I went through the process I have developed some and identified many to work upon whereas, at YA, it is the softer elements connected to the core beliefs. I feel immense gratitude to people in my life who have guided and supported me to experience both.

Henceforth, I even tried articulating what is YA's USP in my experience, it is 'value articulation and realization' or something on these lines, which facilitated my reflections. Some of them were, when I was engaged into driving the van at the backhand and not facilitating or taking any leads triggered my ego into thinking, 'Is this the real value of my time?' but sitting in life sharing circle and feeling the intense energy and connectedness. I realized how everyone's effort is like a part of the bigger jigsaw, and when everyone comes together it gives meaning to what may seem meaningless initially.

Through Food process game, I also realized that irrespective of the structure we are in, we do have a choice of how we wish to behave.

Sometimes comprehending how many people we are as a population and how our technology and economy still does not support many. It used to make me feel restless and helpless. But the sense of rejuvenated community I feel here, makes me give and take more. Dev bhaiya's words helped, 'If there is something you are concerned if there is something you want to work for are you ready to give 20 years of your life to it?'

I don't think I even know specifically what might be that one thing for me, but I have surely re-realized that there is a community, there are people who believe change is possible, who believe in the goodness of people, who are internally optimist. This sense of community and positivity coupled with challenges which makes me reflect on my own practices is something which calls me back to YA. Now I know it is a safe harbour but not one which puts me in a comfortable zone but one which invites me to take on challenges, one which questions my own value system.

Love :)