Revealed: Dikhega nahi toh dukhega kaise

Contributor: Tarini Gulati

Maine shayad dekhna chhod diya tha . Apne aas pass hi nahi par apne andar bhi . Yaad hai jab bachpan mein ghar par mehman aate the aur mummy kehti thi ki jaldi se kamra saaf karo , kamra toh badi jaldi saaf ho jata tha par jab mehman kamre mein ghuste the ; toh who ek dar tha ki woh almari mat khol lena jaha maine baaki saaman pheka hua hai kamre ko saaf rakhne ke liye . Hum sab ke andar who almari hai . Mere andar toh hai . Bhed chaal mein , apne ko dusri jaghaon mein fit hone ke liye maine apne kayi khayalaat , kayi soch , kayi bhavnaaye uss almari mein band rakhi hai . Par sochne ki baat hai ki meri zindagi ki paheli kaise puri mogi jab kuch hisse toh band hai. 

I had come to Gramya Manthan seeking some answers to questions whose duality of responses bothered me but I ended up finding a glimpse of myself . Jab se wapis aaye hai kasam se sab hi ne ek hi sawaal puchha hai …Kaise tha experience ? Aur yeh sunte hi mere dil ki awaaz nikalti hai ki janab kya bataein , you need to experience this experience to judge my experience . Aap ko kaise samjahe ki in das dino mein mera dil muskaraya aur mujhe khabar hi nahi thi ke mumkin bhi tha . Jab se wapis aaye hai hum toh use muskarahat ki talash mein nikal pade hai. 

We have found a very easy alternative in life and that is to just look away from realities . This journey allowed me to look back and face them and in them see myself . I can proudly say that deep in the villages of Kutch I have a family , a family I never knew existed for me and a family that I really miss. 

This journey helped me stretch my boundaries and welcome strangers into my life . I never realized that someone could hold so much love in ones heart . I witnessed depth of experiences in words which I had only had the privilege to read . I learned to read someone’s eyes and had a whole heartfelt conversation in someone’s silence . I found relationships that have their roots so deeply etched in mine that words fail to describe them. I wouldn’t say I found all the answers to questions that I longed to be answered but I definitely did find the tools to help me work on my questions. 

As I write this my heart yearns to be back again and a tear rolls down my eye . I am back in the superficial world again and my challenge lies in not losing myself again . But this time I am not alone , I have this beautiful family that shall help me bounce back if I fall and I walk this journey holding their hand.